When Your Authority is Challenged

You need to anticipate and prepare yourself personally and professionally for the inevitable challenge to your authority in any given situation. I refer to this as situational awareness. My goal in this article is to initiate your thought process on situational awareness and to prepare you for the possible confrontation that may occur. You need to think this through so you can react thoughtfully, not just emotionally. We will discuss two different situations, one as a parent the other in a business setting.

In a business situation, we are each confronted with making decisions on a daily basis. Regardless of your position in the company, everyone is required (and expected) to think, decide and react to situations as they occur. More often than not there are policies and procedures that will guide 90 % of these decisions, but every so often someone challenges your decision and at times tells you directly;

*No, I will not …*
*I can not do that …*
*You can not tell me to do that…*
*You are wrong, this is what needs to happen …*
*You are in no position to request that …*
* I refuse to …*

When your decision or request is challenged, common words you need to recognize are and be aware of are: no, refuse, not and wrong. Ok, so your first though is emotional, most often this is anger. You can not let anger surface, because anger often over rides the rational thought process. So now you are past anger, the next response should be to ask the question *Why?*. Use of the word *why* repeatedly requires the person to respond in a thoughtful manner and may diffuse the situation allowing you to get the root of the challenge. Often there is an underling reason for a person to challenge someone in a business or professional situation. Putting your anger in check and discussing the issues should resolve the problem. If discussions do not resolve the situation, think though what alternatives are available. Is there a policy, procedure or dispute resolution person available? This person may be the supervisor, manager or even Human Resources. Try not to allow the challenge situation go to this extent, it should be you goal to resolve the matter in a professional, no emotional way and move on, there are always bigger issues to address.

How about the personal authority challenge at home from your children, spouse and possibly family. Children of all ages are always pushing their boundaries, why because it helps them learn situational awareness and begins to teach the process of decision making and the resulting outcome, good or bad. What is your responsibility as an adult or parent; keep the boundaries, repercussions and limitations in front of the situation. What I mean by this is, if they have a curfew if 10:00 pm, discuss prior to their departure the repercussions of not meeting this, and possible alternatives if confronted with the deadline that an not be met; a phone call to alert the parent. Why, so when they are confronted with a situation there is an understanding of what the outcome will be if not met and you offer them a solution that will be carried out in many different scenarios. Simply, if you are late to appointment make sure to call first in order to let the person know you are going to be late. What if your children refuse a request? Oh, no hit the anger button … stop and ask the question *Why?*, repeating this often to children a terrific technique to open up discussions. If the refusal continues, take your time go thorough your steps, discuss the repercussions of the refusal, discuss alternatives, review the importance of making your request, watch out you may even learn something about your children in the process. How successful would it be to get your children to discussion situations with you? These same techniques can work for any person, spouse or family members, even the neighbors. Remember; try to keep your emotions in check when the situation is negative.

Try to think through a couple of situations in your own life that have already occurred, see if these techniques might have worked, I hope so. Good Luck and much success to you. Seek professional help if situations are out of control, only you can judge if this is the case or not