Keys to Breaking Through
Third and Final Article in the series by Patricia Thibodeau
OK, you have a dream, and you have positioned yourself for change.. So what’s stopping you? You don’t know what to do next? You just can’t seem to get it in gear? Well, let’s look at the keys to breaking through.
But before we begin, let me say that if you don’t believe in a Higher Power, you might as well stop reading right now, because the rest of this message is contingent on that belief.
1. Pray. Open your heart and ask for guidance. Ask for grace. Grace is God’s free gift, to do to us, through us, and for us, with love, what we could never do for ourselves. But we have to ask for it. It doesn’t have to be a long prayer, and don’t pepper it with thees and thous, just talk to God the way you would an earthly parent, or a close friend. God loves us and wants the best for us. Ask for what you want. And then listen for the answer. Too often prayer is me, me, me, mine, mine, mine, now, now, now, and then it’s off our knees and back to the same old thing. Prayer is us talking to God. Meditation is us listening for an answer. Spend time each day in both prayer and meditation.
2. Face the truth about yourself. The word of God confronts us. “So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.” (Rom. 14:12). Do you drink too much? Stop. It’s not easy, but it can be done. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. You can’t save your face and your ass at the same time. There are any number of support groups in this area that are willing to help. Ask your minister. If you don’t have a minister, ask your doctor. If you don’t have a doctor, google “sobriety.” And then go to a meeting and listen with an open mind to what they say. Are you mired in an addiction of another kind? Get help. Are you lost in grief and feel like you simply cannot live another day without that spouse, or that child, or that job? Get help. Are you so depressed in general that you have lost the will to live? I don’t believe it. You wouldn’t still be reading if it was so. Depression is anger turned inward. Get help with your anger. Facing the truth about yourself, your circumstances, your part in it, and your world in general may be the hardest thing you’ll ever do in life. But you can do it. You must. And then don’t repeat the old behavior. You keep doing what you’re doing you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.
3. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Poor me, poor me, pour me another. Pity parties are the easiest kind to throw but self-pity is idolatry. Guard against emotional impulses. Do you spend too much money when you’re feeling blue? Stay busy and out of the mall. And off the internet. Freeze (literally) your credit cards. By the time they’re thawed out, you’ll probably have realized that you really don’t need whatever the impulse drove you to buy. Volunteer at a hospital. Volunteer to teach English as a second language. Volunteer to type resumes for people who are looking for work. If you have the time and resources, volunteer to go on a mission trip. Help with Habitat for Humanity. Deliver meals on wheels. But whatever you do, take the focus off yourself.
4. Stop blaming everybody else. Ooooooooooooh, tough one. Oh, if only he hadn’t left me for another woman. Oh, if only they hadn’t laid me off. Oh, if only she hadn’t died. If only, if only, if only. Did you do something to cause the layoff? The death? The leaving? Then take responsibility for your own actions. I’m not saying you have to look like a fashion model, but quite frankly, ladies, if you can’t remember the last time you combed your hair, if you can’t keep yourself clean, if you can’t put a smile on your face, if you can’t be a “helpmeet” then don’t blame your significant other if they look elsewhere for those things. And gentlemen, you’re not off the hook; if you can’t treat your loved one with the same respect and consideration and admiration you want for yourself, don’t be surprised if that “loved one” turns into an “unloved one.” If the situation is something simply beyond your control, see step 3. If not, read step 4 again.
5. Don’t make a geographic change the answer to your problems. Because if you pick your troubled self up and move it someplace else, all that baggage will go with you, and you’re just the same old tired troubled person in a different location. And before you know it, it’s all back again. Doubled. Changes in attitudes, changes in latitudes works fine as a song, but only the change in attitude will get you where you need to be. Stop running from responsibility. You can’t repent if you won’t admit. Know the real problem. If you truly believe that a change in attitude will not help, that your problems are not of your own making, see step 1. If it’s you, say you’re sorry; mean it; and then resolve with everything that is within you to do better next time. And then do better.
Blessings and hugs.
Patricia Thibodeau
OK, you have a dream, and you have positioned yourself for change.. So what’s stopping you? You don’t know what to do next? You just can’t seem to get it in gear? Well, let’s look at the keys to breaking through.
But before we begin, let me say that if you don’t believe in a Higher Power, you might as well stop reading right now, because the rest of this message is contingent on that belief.
1. Pray. Open your heart and ask for guidance. Ask for grace. Grace is God’s free gift, to do to us, through us, and for us, with love, what we could never do for ourselves. But we have to ask for it. It doesn’t have to be a long prayer, and don’t pepper it with thees and thous, just talk to God the way you would an earthly parent, or a close friend. God loves us and wants the best for us. Ask for what you want. And then listen for the answer. Too often prayer is me, me, me, mine, mine, mine, now, now, now, and then it’s off our knees and back to the same old thing. Prayer is us talking to God. Meditation is us listening for an answer. Spend time each day in both prayer and meditation.
2. Face the truth about yourself. The word of God confronts us. “So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.” (Rom. 14:12). Do you drink too much? Stop. It’s not easy, but it can be done. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. You can’t save your face and your ass at the same time. There are any number of support groups in this area that are willing to help. Ask your minister. If you don’t have a minister, ask your doctor. If you don’t have a doctor, google “sobriety.” And then go to a meeting and listen with an open mind to what they say. Are you mired in an addiction of another kind? Get help. Are you lost in grief and feel like you simply cannot live another day without that spouse, or that child, or that job? Get help. Are you so depressed in general that you have lost the will to live? I don’t believe it. You wouldn’t still be reading if it was so. Depression is anger turned inward. Get help with your anger. Facing the truth about yourself, your circumstances, your part in it, and your world in general may be the hardest thing you’ll ever do in life. But you can do it. You must. And then don’t repeat the old behavior. You keep doing what you’re doing you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.
3. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Poor me, poor me, pour me another. Pity parties are the easiest kind to throw but self-pity is idolatry. Guard against emotional impulses. Do you spend too much money when you’re feeling blue? Stay busy and out of the mall. And off the internet. Freeze (literally) your credit cards. By the time they’re thawed out, you’ll probably have realized that you really don’t need whatever the impulse drove you to buy. Volunteer at a hospital. Volunteer to teach English as a second language. Volunteer to type resumes for people who are looking for work. If you have the time and resources, volunteer to go on a mission trip. Help with Habitat for Humanity. Deliver meals on wheels. But whatever you do, take the focus off yourself.
4. Stop blaming everybody else. Ooooooooooooh, tough one. Oh, if only he hadn’t left me for another woman. Oh, if only they hadn’t laid me off. Oh, if only she hadn’t died. If only, if only, if only. Did you do something to cause the layoff? The death? The leaving? Then take responsibility for your own actions. I’m not saying you have to look like a fashion model, but quite frankly, ladies, if you can’t remember the last time you combed your hair, if you can’t keep yourself clean, if you can’t put a smile on your face, if you can’t be a “helpmeet” then don’t blame your significant other if they look elsewhere for those things. And gentlemen, you’re not off the hook; if you can’t treat your loved one with the same respect and consideration and admiration you want for yourself, don’t be surprised if that “loved one” turns into an “unloved one.” If the situation is something simply beyond your control, see step 3. If not, read step 4 again.
5. Don’t make a geographic change the answer to your problems. Because if you pick your troubled self up and move it someplace else, all that baggage will go with you, and you’re just the same old tired troubled person in a different location. And before you know it, it’s all back again. Doubled. Changes in attitudes, changes in latitudes works fine as a song, but only the change in attitude will get you where you need to be. Stop running from responsibility. You can’t repent if you won’t admit. Know the real problem. If you truly believe that a change in attitude will not help, that your problems are not of your own making, see step 1. If it’s you, say you’re sorry; mean it; and then resolve with everything that is within you to do better next time. And then do better.
Blessings and hugs.
Patricia Thibodeau
Labels: change, money, respect, Responsibility, truth
posted by Kent Jacobson, a.k.a. "Mr. Success" at 2:10 PM
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